Ask The Attorney: What to Do About Soon-to-Be-Ex Bashing Me On Facebook?
Dear Ask the Attorney:
My wife and I have decided to get a divorce. It was a mutual decision. We have two young children. I thought it was going amicably but recently found out that she has been saying the most horrible things on her Facebook page about me, my parenting skills, and how my children do not want to be with me any more (which isn’t true). I do not have access to her Facebook posts because she has blocked me, but mutual friends have told me about it. What should I do?
H.W.
Our guest blogger is Jennifer Fortunato, Esq., a member of Einhorn Harris Ascher Barbarito & Frost, PC’s matrimonial department and counsel to the firm. She devotes her practice exclusively to family law matters.
Dear H.W.:
It is not unusual for people to post personal information on the Internet these days. However, personal information posted on social media sites can be used by you (or your spouse) during your divorce proceedings and even after you are divorced.
In response to your above question, first, ask one of your friends to print out your wife’s Facebook posts so that you have proof what she has been posting about you. Then, if you want to be aggressive, you should have your attorney file an application with the court asking the court to stop your wife from making such statements to third parties, your children and from posting such statements on her Facebook account and anywhere else on the Internet. You should also ask that your wife be required to retract her statements on her Facebook page. You should attach a copy of your wife’s Facebook posts to your application to prove to the court that this is occurring.
If you want to take a less aggressive approach, have your attorney send her attorney a letter (if you do not have an attorney at this time, then you can do so directly) requesting this relief and see what she does. If she follows through with what you request, then you do not have to file an application. However, if she ignores your requests, then you should file an application to the Court for the relief set forth above.
Divorce is hard enough without social media outlets allowing people to vent all of their personal information; you should seek the help of a competent family law and divorce attorney to help you in this situation and going forward–even if the divorce is, as you had thought, amicable.
“Ask the Attorney” is a blog in which answers to your legal questions submitted to asktheattorney@einhornharris.com may be answered. The answers to the questions are for informational purposes only and are not to be construed as legal advice or the creation of an attorney-client relationship. The facts of each case is different, therefore you should seek competent legal representation.
Jon
5:01 pm on Friday, June 8, 2012
Regarding this advice from Ms. Fortunato "If you want to take a less aggressive approach, have your attorney send her attorney a letter (if you do not have an attorney at this time, then you can do so directly) requesting this relief and see what she does.", I would add that if you send the letter yourself, make sure you send it via certified mail, and keep a copy of what you sent. This is essentially a "Cease and Desist" letter. You can find all kinds of free examples online if you aren't handy with words.
Mike H
5:11 pm on Friday, June 8, 2012
and if you want to take a passive aggressive approach ask your attorney to hack your ex's fb account for you
Stacie Bohr
5:58 am on Monday, June 11, 2012
Hi, H.W.
I had someone in my life who is unfortunately crazy. If she was angry at someone she would call DYFS, If she was angry at someone, she would call their work and say they were doing things that weren't on the up and up in hope to have them fired. When she became angry with me, she tried to "ruin" my reputation via social media. I do not take anything sitting down and immediately went to the police and was finally granted a permanent restraint order. Mine is one of five that I know of that she has against her. Don't wait on it. Unfortunately while none of what she is writing may be true...other folks enjoy other peoples problems and it makes for a "good read" for them. Best of luck to you!
cv
7:05 am on Monday, June 11, 2012
Wow Stacie I am not making a joke when I say it sounds like you know my sister. I agree fix this problem now H.W.. My sister threatened me with that 2 weeks ago . These types of people can get you fired and destroy your reputation even if nothing wrong was ever done.
Stacie Bohr
12:20 pm on Monday, June 11, 2012
CV
This is a family member as well. Sadly, my mother has an order of protection against her, my other sister has one and even her own daughter had one against her up until the day my niece died in October. While I find it sad, I was very angry with our judicial system through the process but plugged away until I finally got it. But quite frankly, it's a piece of paper that holds no guarantee that she can't pull the same things anonymously. I am glad I have it though.
cv
2:56 pm on Monday, June 11, 2012
It seems like we have alot in common Stacie.
Stacie Bohr
6:44 pm on Monday, June 11, 2012
I was just thinking the same thing, cv in reading the article about the school salaries. Im just waiting to be slammed by someone because heaven forbid you have a different point of view.
cv
7:20 pm on Monday, June 11, 2012
@Stacie i made some pretty nasty comments to a couple of people doing the Long Valley bash on a regional school district article. These people really pretend not to be racist bigots but they really do know thats what they are. We are not white trash , we contribute what we are required to here. I am no country club or tennis club member nor do I employ illegals to clean my house or watch my kids.
I want to see how it all plays out when their precious schools have a a little more ethnic diversity in them.
I am a city girl we had diversity and poverty and never once did we complain. this is a whole different kind of hate here, it is hate based on income.
esquire908
2:03 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
If someone is engaging in a repeated pattern of behavior designed to annoy and alarm on the internet that is criminal harrassment and the courts WILL take action. Former Washington Township committeeman Kevin Nedd was convicted on two charges in 2011, upheld on appeal, and could have received jail time. The law has teeth and should be used by anyway targeted in this way before the harasser gains steam and worse things happen. Document the actions, send a cease and desist letter, and if it continues visit your local police and sign a complaint.
FourScore
3:37 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
Below is the story on the Nedd/Lotito exchange.
To say; "Mention my wife and family again in a posting and the next time I see you I will kick you're a… no questions asked. Consider yourself warned,", are not ‘colorful words’, but a direct physical threat.
http://newjerseyhills.com/observer-tribune/news/article_7d307382-d1a0-5838-a139-a7c6563d5856.html
Stacie Bohr
3:51 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
Wow! I know this forum can get ugly and that our buttons can be pushed but this is an entirely different animal. I stayed off the Patch for quite a while because it was painful reading responses to posts that were harmless. You can smell the venom in other people's words, your words get twisted and it's just not worth the aggrevation.
esquire908
4:22 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
Nice link, also interesting to see the foul mouth on Nedd. Brought up on harassment, he says ""This whole thing is about getting a criminal record for Kevin Nedd," Nedd said.
Well, now he has one.
HistorianWT
4:31 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
I'd take Lotito over Pipe-Cleaner Man. He's in the same weight class as the Olsen Twins.
Kevin Nedd
9:12 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
The misdemeanors for which I paid a small fine pales in comparison to the crimes committed by a number of local GOP public figures in Long Valley. Here are a few links to bring esquire908 and Hookerman up to speed:
http://newjerseyhills.com/randolph_reporter/news/kreeger-goes-to-prison/article_6f5db247-2dce-5541-ad8f-eb7e59433378.html
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2008/03/cops_say_washington_committeem.html
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/03/exwashington_township_official.html
In the case of the third link, the victim claimed in an official police report the assailant stalked him for over a year before violently assaulting him. So while my words may not have been the best, my actions never involved violence.
Jon
9:22 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
Your honor, even though I was going 85 MPH, other people have been caught going faster than that in the past.
Kevin Nedd
10:02 pm on Thursday, June 14, 2012
More like going 57 in a 55 mile zone and the other driver doing 90, which causes an accident resulting in serious injury or death.
...
Joanne
9:44 pm on Friday, June 15, 2012
shame, shame, seems fewer townfolk are setting good examples these days, maybe they will honor you with a fireworks display too
Kevin Nedd
2:53 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
I don't think so. I'd have to evade federal income taxes, put our citizens at risk by driving drunk, and violently assault my wife's lover for the town to honor me.
ByeByeBobby
3:13 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
Great defense, "I'm not as big a criminal as those guys!"
Kevin Nedd
3:54 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
It's not a defense, it's a fact. Misdemeanors or petty offenses are no where as "big" as criminal offenses for which one can be indicted, e.g., the three crimes cited above.
Maybe that's why they are called petty!
ByeByeBobby
8:50 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
I think they were referring to the criminal, not the crime.
Kevin Nedd
12:00 am on Sunday, June 17, 2012
By that broad definition anyone convicted of a parking or speeding ticket is a criminal.
FourScore
8:47 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
This thread is not about which ex-committeeman had the worst charges filed against him, it’s about internet harassment. I was part of that debate you had with Tom back in 2008 about Obama, you were making very valid and intelligent points. I don’t know why you then lowered yourself to petty name calling, and worse, personal threats.
Kevin Nedd
12:16 am on Sunday, June 17, 2012
Since you were part of that debate, you know my comments to Tom were in response to comments he made about my family. So, while I didn't resort to violent assault (unlike someone else), I did use strong words that in hindsight were not appropriate.
FourScore
10:07 am on Sunday, June 17, 2012
If I remember correctly, Tom didn’t say anything bad about your wife, he simply said; “give my best to your wife”, or something like that. How does that warrant a physical threat?
But what’s interesting is that you made the following comment in the same thread; "In April of 2007, when you mistakenly thought I was calling your house to give you a piece of my mind, you chose to ignore my call and hide behind the wife and kids. From where I'm from, that qualifies you as a p…. Plain and simple." Nedd wrote.
So how come you can mention Tom’s family (and call him a nasty name), but when he mentions yours, you threaten him?
Kevin Nedd
11:32 am on Sunday, June 17, 2012
Hookerman,
You don't "remember correctly". I'll leave it at that.